Author: Declan Tan

The Exclamation Mark // fiction

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First published on Metazen (October 4th 2011) //

‘I don’t understand why you’re so afraid of me!’

‘Look at you,’ he sneered, ‘You’re all up and down, too tall, so pointless.’ His voice began to get the better of him, his eyes too, filling up with anger. He checked himself and lay down his knife and fork, staring into the thing across from him: ‘And stop your damn shouting, breathing down on me. People can see us. You’re making a scene, you fool,’ Hermann said.

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Interior // fiction

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First published on 50 to 1 (August 12th 2011) //

Interior by Declan Tan

As their flat planned to murder them with dust, he walked in, untied his shoelaces. She was standing there, eating a piece of fruit over the sink.

“It’s too juicy,” she said, the pear in her hand.

“It’s too juicy,” he said, mockingly.

“Fuck you.”

He kicked off his shoes.

The Man Who Stopped To Think // fiction

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First published by MiPOesias Shorts Series (July 20th 2011) //

The Man Who Stopped To Think

‘So you wanna be a moff then, do ya?’
‘No. Not a moth, man. That’s not the point.’
‘Not a moff. Then what is it?’
‘I was just saying. This moth here. It doesn’t even want to be a moth, does it? Look at it.’
‘That’s obvious, innit. Wanted ta be a butterfly, din’t it?’
‘Yes, don’t think that’s how it works though. But anyway, that’s not the point.’
‘En’t it?’
‘No. Not the point at all. The point is that the moth…’
‘Don’t wanna be a moth…’
‘Right, forget it.’
‘… Wanted ta be a butterfly, innit?’
‘Forget it.’
‘I’m gonna have a cigarette. Couldn’t enjoy that first one. Gave me the wobbles.’ ‘Want one?’
‘I’m good, ta.’
‘Gave me the shits.’
‘Too hot for a cigarette. My face is all sweat.’

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Charlie Hill, ‘The Space Between Things’ Book Review

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First published on Spike Magazine (July 18th 2011) //

Charlie Hill’s debut novel seems already to have been pigeonholed as a love-story, a certainly tragic one, between its narrator, Arch (a character who has already made appearances on the independent literary scene) and Vee, the counterpoint to Arch’s solipsistic, inward-looking existence.

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Sensory Deprivation Floatation Tanks

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First published on AOL Asylum.co.uk (September 5th 2011) //

Everyone from Olympic athletes to stressed bankers to Cheryl Cole have slowly cottoned on to the insular world of floatation tanks; an established therapy of mind and body gigglingly known as ‘floating.’ Touted as one of the ultimate relaxation techniques where your brain ratchets down to its most receptive and creative rhythms, it promises well-preserved, saline silence. But does it actually work?

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The best ever golden turkeys

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First published on Asylum.co.uk (July 12th 2011) //

So Jean Luc Godard’s new film is a turkey apparently. But is it a golden turkey. One of those films that’s so bad it’s good?

Some movies are good, some movies are bad. And there are some movies that are good-bad.

So good-bad, in fact, that you get an unwelcome tickly feeling that’s confusing, urging you to fire up your trusty old video player for one more look at its faded VHS glory.

After the break we’ve compiled for your viewing pleasure, some of those golden turkeys adored by fans, and panned by critics, though loved by anyone who has had a moment to enjoy these demonstrations of the endless possibilities the wonderful world of film has to offer. That means you.

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